In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a childs superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(That’s right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy !)
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Geeez,but that’s the only time I have to work on my hair !)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(The shoplifter special ???)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(…and that is how ?!?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it’s *just* a suggestion !!!)
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
(Just one ? )
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert:(printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.
(Too late…You lose !!!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are they sure ???)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But that would save time & ummm whose body ?)
On Boot’s Children’s cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
( Yea… keep sick 5 year olds home from work & off the streets !?!?!)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope !)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children.
(Or pets ! What’s for dinner ???)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space… or underground ???)
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Ok… now I’m curious.)
On Sainsbury’s peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(Sheeesh… this one speaks for itself !)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Oh PUHHHLEEEZE !!!)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
