Dec. 2, 2009
By Mike Freeman
CBSSports.com National Columnist
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Presented by Epson
Nice work, Tiger Daly.
Or should I call you Tiger Woody?
My goodness, Tiger. The babes are falling out of the sky, bro. Though I always believed a man of your stature could pull more than VH1 reality show rejects and Las Vegas hoochie mamas.
What's next? A Hooter's girl?
"I will wear you out ... when was the last time you got [expletive]?" one alleged text message from Woody to one of the hoochies supposedly read. Another alleged text from Woods: "Send me something very naughty ... go to the bathroom and take [a picture]."
The shock isn't that Woods is hornier than an ESPN anchor, it's that it took this long to prove something I've been saying for years -- Tiger Woods is a jerk. Always has been, always will be.
It's the truth. Woods' money, army of publicists and protective sycophants in the media have long covered up this fact, but Woods has always been just a step below the John Daly/Michael Jordan/Barry Bonds jerkdom line of demarcation. Covered up because if you want to interview Tiger Woody, you have to be kind to Tiger Woody.
This isn't a column exploding with glee over the crumbling public image of a superstar. This is a column saying Tiger never deserved the mantle of alleged pristine person in the first place.
I've been around him enough to see his jerkiness in full bloom. Few athletes are as arrogant as Tiger.
Woody hired a caddy who's a bully and a wannabe, and Tiger seems to enjoy watching his goon elbow and shove his way around like an out-of-control bouncer.
Woods hawks his golf attire and equipment (no, not that equipment) but blows off fans who wait hours for his autograph.
Most on the tour are among the most easygoing and least controlling in all of professional sports (NBA players are the most fan and media friendly). Woods was always the opposite. Of course, he's a much bigger presence than Padraig Harrington, but Woody's jerkiness still stands out.
Even the statement released by Woods is full of arrogant gems. His whining about tabloid coverage is typical Woods. If he doesn't go whipping out his 9-iron around every hostess west of the Mississippi, there are no tabloid inquiries.
That's not too difficult to understand, is it?
Tiger carefully crafted one image, did everything in his power to control it, but all the while was living a secret life.
Phil Mickelson has been called a phony, been called Eddie Haskell, but it turns out Woody's been the one presenting one image while living another.
Tiger is a jerk. Always has been, always will be. Now, everyone sees it.
In all seriousness, do you know what Woods jokingly calls himself in the third person? This isn't a joke. I'm serious. He calls himself "Woody." I'm not kidding. He's used it before with some golf writers.
So good luck, Woody. It's going to be a lot more difficult to stay in that sanctimonious perch now.
Meanwhile, a red alert warning to all waitresses, hostesses and any other woman with an "esses" in her job title: Woody might be off the market for a bit.
That is, until the divorce proceedings begin.
For more from Mike Freeman, check him out on Twitter: @realfreemancbs
Below, we take a look at some of the drama's key players in Yahoo! Search and their rumored roles.
Elin Nordegren
The wife of Tiger Woods has been thrust into the Search spotlight over the past week. While no stranger to gawkers (she was once a model, after all), this level of Search attention has elevated Ms. Nordegren to a whole new level of public scrutiny. Over the past week, Web lookups have soared an astounding 2,832%. Additionally, related Searches on "elin nordegren pictures" spiked to new heights. She has yet to release an official statement on the sordid affair.
Jaimee Grubbs
In Tiger's boilerplate apology statement, he mentions "transgressions" that have let his family down. Though Tiger hasn't named names, Jaimee Grubbs has more than volunteered to explain her part in the troublesome situation. A Los Angeles cocktail waitress and former participant on the VH1 reality show "Tool Academy," Ms. Grubbs claims to have had a lengthy affair with Woods. Additionally, she has gone on record as saying she has pictures, hundreds of risqué text messages, and even a "frantic voicemail" from the married golfer. Searches on "jaimee grubbs" and "jaimee grubbs photos" have both shot up from zip into the tens of thousands overnight. Last word: Claims to have had affair.
Rachel Uchitel
In contrast to Ms. Grubbs, Rachel Uchitel has strenuously denied the allegations that she and the world's best golfer have hooked up. Still, that hasn't stopped the Searches. Lookups on "rachel uchitel" and "who is rachel uchitel" have both rocked the Search box, as curious searchers seem unwilling to take her at her word. Time magazine has an interesting article on Ms. Uchitel. The 34-year-old nightclub promoter is reportedly "aggressive" when it comes to meeting celebrities (her mom claims she once dated Derek Jeter and A-Rod). However, in an exclusive interview with the New York Post, Uchitel has denied the allegations of a romance with Woods, even going so far as to offer to take a lie detector test. Last word: Denies affair.
Kalika Moquin
Lastly (or not?), there's Kalika Moquin. A relative newcomer to the Tiger watch, Ms. Moquin was named in Life & Style magazine as having romantic links to Tiger. As soon as that possible connection hit the Web, searches on Moquin roared into breakout status. Though her connection to Tiger is still just a rumor, folks clearly want to know more about her. Life & Style explains that she works as a marketing manager at a Las Vegas nightclub. According to the magazine, when Moquin was asked about an alleged affair, she neither confirmed not denied it, saying, "It's not appropriate for me to comment one way or the other." Last word: No comment.
